Let me start by saying this, if you don’t believe in prayer and/or God: I hope you believe in some kind of a higher being and affirmations of putting feels and desires into the universe and that doing that helps them come true.
Yesterday morning I watched listened to Joel Olsteen‘s Sunday morning broadcast.
The talk was about how you (the listener/watcher) are enough and made perfectly for the life He (the big HE—God) planned for you. The whole talk got me thinking about what I wrote the other day—about how if you pray and expect and work (and believe) you will get it (or something adjacent/better/etc) because everything is according to HIS will. As long as you are willing to accept that your plan (and His) are different you are golden.
But, was I wrong? If God already knows everything, am I expecting in vain?
No, I don’t think I am.
Stick with me.
I’m not saying that God is going to just give me every whimsical thing I want—because those things are fun fleeting thoughts. Like that, I am going to be a singer in the same league as Adele and have some wonderful touring/living in the UK kinda life. Oh wait, this is more realistic: I am going to meet Jennifer Gardener and she and I are going to become BFF’s because we will bond over kiddos, cooking, and movie making. Then we’ll start a production company and make millions of dollars.
See, TOTALLY realistic!
Of course, those are rediculous ideas and I never think dream about those things. I mean who thinks like that?
That’s crazy. Right?
Anyway…I don’t believe He will give you (or me) an ongoing desire/will that He doesn’t know will come to fruition. Like my desire to (finally) be disciplined enough to keep up this blog. Or do something creative every day.
These are totally doable. Not always easy or exactly what I want, however when I get into it, I kinda can’t stop moving.
But this week, while I’ve been planning and thinking about what I’m going to do next (not this) did I have doubts?
F-Yeah I did!
We all have doubts…but hitting pause for a moment and looking around to notice your resources (what we physically have) and knowledge (the sum of our life experiences—education, reading, media we’ve consumed, etc) can help us overcome those doubts. We I need to hit pause sometimes because I get too immersed in whatever it is.
Is hitting pause bad?
No.
What’s bad is when we let that pause last weeks/months/years instead of hopping back in with just the next step. One step can get you back on track and propel you to the other side of your doubt.
I had to do that also this weekend.
I was working on my bojo and wanted to make a 2020 page. The night before I had just watched FranNerd‘s latest video and she was getting out of her comfort zone— so she inspired me to get out of mine. Although I have a degree in design—it’s NEWSPAPER design. Not exactly the most creative design discipline.
But, I wanted to do something artsy and not as rigid/structured as my normal work.
Let me just say, there were MANY times I had to stop and pause while doing this ‘illustration’. 
But I used the resources I had coupled with my knowledge:
- The blue flower was a picture out of a magazine I had around the house—I just photocopied the pic (with my home printer/scanner/copier).
Cut it out and tacked it down a little. —Looking in magazines and cutting things out are things I learned how to do in preschool. - A pause…I knew I wanted a rat (2020 is the year of the rat) but I can’t draw. Therefore, I had to figure out how to ‘draw’ a rat. Internet access—which allows much of my house to run well—I found the pic of the mouse and printed it (thanks again to the printer/scanner/copier). I scribbled on the back with a pencil then placed it right side up where I wanted it to and traced it. Tracing it transfers the graphite scribbles onto my art. Again, something I learned how to do in art class forever ago.
- Cleaned up the graphite transfer with a black marker.
Then I though…this needs something else. And this is where I blame Fran for planting the brain worm of “it’s OK to get out of your comfort zone and it doesn’t need to be perfect”—although hers totally looks perfect. - So, I took another pause and looked around at what I had and haven’t used lately.
Do you know what I found?
Watercolor crayons, something I’ve had for 2-4 years and have NO idea how to use them (my only frame of reference is the countless YouTube videos I’ve watched on watercolor painting). But I decided to use them anyway.
And although this piece of art isn’t exactly what I had in mind…it’s definitely adjacent to it. 🙂 And I think it’s awesome and it proves my point: pause and pull from what I had/have and God will give you exactly what you need. It might not have been what you had in mind, but it’s probably better and I learned exactly what I was supposed to: it isn’t perfect, but it’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.
